The Complete Guide to Hygiene.pdf

Table of Contents . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1

When Do Adventurers Go To The Bathroom?. . . . . 2

Dirty Adventurers Aren’t Lucky . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2

Paladins And Cleanliness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2

The Dentist & Teeth: Smile When You Say That? . . 2

Effects of Magic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3

Spells . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3

Level 1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3

Illusionary Teeth (Illusion) Reversible. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3

Level 2 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3

Bud (Necromancy) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3

Level 3 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3

Smash Teeth (Invocation) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3

Level 4 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3

Create Tooth (Necromancy) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3

Clerics And Waste . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3

State-of-the-art Waste Disposal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3

A Monster That Keeps The House Clean. . . . . . . . . . 4

Scrubble (Scrubbing) Bubbles . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4

Magic-items . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5

Even A Mage Does Laundry . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5

Cantrips . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5

Story Book Theater. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6

Special Thanks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6

Paladin does not need to “go” at all. Once a year, the paladin

must make a system shock or explode from the boughs for 1d20

points of damage.

Paladin urinates pure holy water.

There are two forms of waste to consider with regard to standard

beings (i.e. humans, dwarves, elves, halflings, gnomes, etc.). These

forms are liquid and solid. When a person must excrete waste is de-

pend on Constitution and sex. Multiple the person’s Constitution to

the multiplier from Table 1 to get the number of hours apart the per-

son goes to the bathroom.

This rule assumes that the person is consuming a normal quanti-

ty of food and drink. A dehydrated person or staving person will not

be producing waste as quickly. Furthermore, a person eating and

drinking a lot may go twice as much. Therefore, the GM should make

appropriate adjustments.

A person may wish to go to the bathroom at a certain time. To do

this, a normal Constitution check is made. Females get a +1 modifier.

This check can be made once every three turn.

Alternatively, a person may wish to postpone going to the bath-

room. To do this a normal Constitution check is made. Males get a +1

modifier. This check can be made once every three turn. Of course,

there is some discomfort in this state and the character suffers the

following: -1 to hit, -1 Dexterity, -1 Strength, -2 on all saves.

When a character reaches the young-adult age, he will have 30

teeth, and must check every year (10% accumulative) to grow the

wisdom teeth. When growing the new teeth, the character will have

-1 “to hit” due to pain for 2 weeks.

Also, a character must check every month (5% accumulative) for

lost 1d4-1 teeth because of tooth-decay, being hit in the face to of-

ten, etc.. The following constitution and racial modifiers apply:

Table 2: Constitution Modifiers

Constitution

Modifier (*)

Table 1: Multiplier

04-05

06-08

Males

Females

09-12

Liquid

x .5

x .25

13-15

-1

Solid

x .1

x .5

16-17

-2

-3

Due to many hands-on experience of women, it was decided

that females usually go to the bathroom twice as much as males. For

those that disapprove of this, they can adjust the rules accordingly.

Table 3: Racial Modifiers

Race

Modifiers (*)

Elf

-3

Half-Elf

-2

Dwarf

-2

Halfling

-1

Sure adventurers are great heroes that trek through the lands

facing great challenges in monsters, dungeons, and deities. But ad-

venturing is a dirty job, and few tough adventurers have the desire to

bath on a regular basis. In fact, many wear the same yechy clothes

day after day. But does this have an effect on there adventures?

For each day after the 1st day an adventurer goes unbathed, he/

she suffers the following cumulative effects:

Gnome

-1

Human

Half-orc

Half-ogre

Orc

Goblin

Ogre

except canines (-1)

doesn’t care, teeth will

grow back

-2 comeliness

-1 to charisma

Troll

all creatures get +5% tracking bonus when searching for adven-

turer

Table 4: Possible Living Conditions Modifiers

Condition

Modifier

clean

-2

brushes

-2

fibrous food

-1

heavy combat

Some GMs may allow paladins to have some special abilities with

regard to cleanliness. Below is a list of abilities. The GM may allow the

paladin to have only one ability OR allow the paladin to gain an abil-

ity every 3 levels (one at 3rd level, one at 6th level, etc.).

infected tooth

tropics

drinks a lot

tongue pierced

goopy food

Abilities

Paladin has an anti-dirt aura.

Paladin gives off a natural flowery scent.

dirty

(*) also accumulative.

If a check fails, the toothache will begin and the character will

have -2 to hit until the tooth/teeth has/have been extracted, other-

wise the tooth/teeth will fall in 1d4 weeks.

If the GM wishes, he have bad teeth effect a character’s charisma.

-1 on charisma for every 10 teeth lost. -1 on comeliness for every 5

teeth lost. 01% accumulative chance of spell failure per teeth lost (up

to a maximum of 32%, of course).

Unlike the real-world, the job of the dentist is performed by the

shaver (yes... the shaver). With the shaver being in charge of dentist-

ry, no wonder the population had bad teeth if any at all. A shaver will

only extract teeth, and does not handle dental care.

Paladins will always have beauty and shinning teeth. Paladins

never make checks. On the other hand, barbarians must make twice

as many checks.

Bards don’t gain immunity like paladins because they aren’t

magical in nature. Bards make checks like any other class. Bards do

have spells so the can possible enhance their smile this way (see be-

low).

Duration: Instantaneous

Area of Effect: One tooth

Save: None

Bud creates a new tooth bud under the gum of a willing creature.

A new, healthy tooth will grow from the tooth bud, but will inflict the

same penalties as a wisdom tooth while it does so. (“No pain, no

gain.”)

( ),

Level: 3

Range: 15 feet per level

Duration: Instantaneous

Area of Effect: One person

Save: Negates

!"#$%&'!

This spell allows a mage to knock out the teeth of a creature. If

the subject fails a save vs. spells, the subject has one tooth per caster

level knocked out with great force (and great pain). A successful save

means no teeth were lost.

The material component is any heavy blunt object (a staff, mace,

brass knuckles, etc), and the somatic component is swinging the ob-

ject.

All Cure Wounds will only kill the pain for 1d4 days. Cure Disease

and Heal will cure the teeth/tooth, but previous lost teeth will not be

recovered. Regenerate will cure and restore all teeth.

( )-

Level 1

Illusionary Teeth

Level 2

Bud

Level: 4

Range 10 feet per level

Duration: Instantaneous

Area of Effect: One tooth

Save: None

Level 3

Smash Teeth

Level 4

Create Tooth

Create Tooth instantly creates a new tooth, in the place of a miss-

ing one. The tooth grows back instantly, without pain.

The material component is either a tooth from a member of the

same race, or a tooth made out of gold or pearl.

( )*

Level: 1

Range: 10 feet per level

Duration: 2 hours per level

Area of Effect: One mouth

Save: Negates

Some clerics may cast Purify Food & Drink on waste. Well, this

spell can be cast on solid and liquid waste. If a character wants to eat

or drink this cleansed waste, then he/she must make a system shock

or vomit. No further attempts can be made to eat or drink it again.

This spell creates the illusion of a mouth full of healthy teeth. The

illusion is visual only, a toothless hag cannot click her teeth together

with this spell.

The reverse of this spell, Lost Teeth, creates the illusion that the

recipient has many diseased and disgusting teeth, bleeding gums,

and many missing teeth. The victim’s Charisma is reduced by one

point, and Comeliness (if used) drops by four points. A save vs. spells

will prevent this spell from taking effect.

"%" $". %/"%#" '#0$#%)

“Yeah, waste disposal is my specialty. It’s been my life for over 40

years. I’ve worked my way up from a young sewer cleaner to Master

Guildsman of The Sewers Union. I’ve seen just about everything with

regards to waste disposal. Some of it’s fascinating, some of its dis-

gusting, but all of it serves a purpose: To Keep Our City Clean.

A mark of a thoughtful architect is an adequate waste system. An

old saying in the Builders’ Guild is ’Sure its nice on the outside, but

where do ya shit?’

I’ve been in cities where there wasn’t much of anything. People

would throw there waste into the street gutters and wait until the

rain washes it away. This form of waste disposal (if you can call it that)

is very primitive. Besides being gross, it is extremely dangerous. Cit-

ies with poor waste disposal facilities end up with sickness, illness,

and plaques.

( )+

Level: 2

Range: 10 feet per level

Most cities have the standard sewer system of pipes, drains, and

cisterns where water flows through carrying waste to far away

streams and rivers. Unfortunately, this pollutes the waterways. Fortu-

nate cities have underground waterways where they can dump their

load. The only creatures that could be affected are the dreaded un-

derworld monsters (but who cares).

I’ve seen a plumbing system used by elves in which a waterfall

was routed into a castle. Then the water goes through a magic water

purifier. Those elves are rich with magic.

There is one lawful good city in which clerics purify the waste be-

fore it is departed into open waterways. Supposedly, this works well

and is better than nothing, but I’m sure its expensive (monetary and

religiously).

I once entered a town which was utterly filthy. It consisted basi-

cally of one main street in which all rubbish and refuse was dumped

in the street... it stunk. A resident high level wizard got absolutely fed

up with it all one day, and designed, with the help of clerics with cre-

ate water spells and permanency spells 6 huge containers of water at

the top end of town. Early every morning, after the waste had been

thrown on the street, the containers would magically release their

water, causing a gigantic wave flowing down the street, cleaning it,

and carrying it out of the city and splashing into the nearby river. A

few lives were lost at first, but it soon just became routine.

Speaking of nutty mages, one small village had this neat freak,

high level mage who believed his sole purpose in life was to disinte-

grate garbage. He of course charged a fee to the city village for his

services, but it still was a interesting sanitation business (I believe the

name was “Waste Away”).

Some cities access great magical power and have there waste

deported through gates to the elemental planes of water, air, or fire.

The only problem is that an occasional unhappy visitor from an ele-

mental plane will come out of the gate to reek havoc.

For personal waste systems, the norm is a latrine (hole in the

ground) that connects to the nearest sewer system. Latrines can be

found inside or outside; the latter being preferred because of the

smell. Some houses prefer chamber pots that can be used indiscreet-

ly inside and then dumped into the sewers. The best chamber pots

are found in the rich metropolitan areas. They actually teleport their

acquired waste products to the local sewers where it can be taken

care of by some lower class workers. The really expensive chamber

pots have a permanent disintegrate spell in it that disposes of waste

properly.

Many nasty things feed off of waste. Some brilliant people culti-

vate the growth of these creatures as a means of waste disposal. The

use of oozes, slimes, and jellies is one of the most popular forms of

waste disposal; especially with the rich. Ochre jelly isn’t very popular

because it has the ability to travel on walls and ceilings. Ochre jelly is

usually used in large subterranean areas where few people move and

total annihilation of everything everywhere is desired. Gray ooze is

more popular with toilets because it cannot climb walls and give a

user an unpleasant surprise. Care must be taken with gray ooze be-

cause it tends to reproduce and gray ooze toilets must keep the ooze

at a safe level. Crystal ooze is more popular then gray ooze because

of its clear and thus “cleaner looking” color. Crystal ooze is also home

in water which allows the toilets to have a cleaner nature to them.

However, the same precautions taken with gray ooze reproduction

are necessary with crystal ooze. Green slime is the least popular due

to its fast growth and dangerous being.

A gelatinous cube is by far the most sheik waste disposal. Its

square shape is preferred over other jellies and oozes since the

square shape does not allow it to slither into other areas in which it is

not desired. A gelatinous cube is usually placed in a hole and kept

from moving while drains empty all waste onto it. Some places allow

the cube to roam in corridors beneath the dwelling where it can

gather waste. Even some communities have employed a cube to

roam the sewer systems.

Puddings are another interesting form of waste disposal. They

are more destructive than oozes, slimes, and jellies but they can live

easier in harsh climates. Thus, there value for waste disposal is there.

Many spells are useful in waste manipulation. Fire based spells

will break down waste, but will create terrible air pollution. Some

spells can turn the waste to stone, thereby giving a valuable natural

resource.

Some waste disposal systems aren’t what they seem to be. A few

times, I’ve come across a water weird hiding in the water. Plumbing

sure ain’t what it used to be. However, I’ve come across valuable stuff

too. Toilets make excellent hiding places for treasure (kept in a water-

tight container). Whose going to search a toilet?

Well, I hope you better understand waste disposal. I gotta go

back down to the underworld of THE SEWERS. See ya!”

Miren Tihsecaf

CLIMATE/TERRAIN: Any

FREQUENCY: Rare

ORGANIZATION:Solitary

ACTIVITY CYCLE: Any

DIET: Any

INTELLIGENCE:Non- (0)

TREASURE: Nil

ALIGNMENT: Nil

NO. APPEARING: 1 (1-4)

ARMOR CLASS: 10 (what’d ya think bubbles would be)

MOVEMENT: 12

HIT DICE: 5

THAC0: 10

NO. OF ATTACKS: 1

DAMAGE/ATTACK: 1d4

SPECIAL ATTACKS: See below

SPECIAL DEFENSES: See below

MAGIC RESISTANCE: Nil

SIZE: S-L (3’-8’)

MORALE: Special

XP VALUE: 500

Scrubble Bubbles were created by a wizard who wanted to keep

his dungeon clean, but didn’t want to work at it. Scrubble Bubbles

are composed of groups of cell colonies that scurry around getting

rid of dirt and grime. They have the ability to analyze material struc-

ture from a distance of up to 60 feet to determine if something is

dirty. They attack filth on sight, so weary adventurers better watch

out.

Scrubble Bubbles are immune to acid, cold, and poison. Lighten-

ing bolts and blows from weapons divide them into smaller groups

of bubbles, each able to attack exactly as the original. Fire causes

double damage, as do magic missiles. They can be dissuaded with

large volumes of water.

Scrubble Bubbles can roam through cracks that are at least one

inch wide and can travel on ceilings and walls at the same speed as

on a level surface.

Combat: Scrubble Bubbles are more an annoyance than any-

thing else, but they can be painful. Upon encountering a creature like

an adventurer, Scrubble Bubbles will seep in though armor and

CLEAN! The sensation is not unlike being attacked with a million stiff

toothbrushes that inflicts the 1d4 points of abrasive damage.

Scrubble Bubbles may also secrete a mild acid to get rid of tough

stains. If they use it on a living being, the creature will suffer 2d4

points of damage.

Habit/Society: They are usually found in closed passageways

and rooms, and roam about dungeons cleaning walls, floors, and fur-

niture.

Ecology: They reproduce by fission. They adapted to live in a

wide variety of climates. Scrubble Bubbles starting with 11-30% of

maximum possible hit points are 3 feet to 4 feet in diameter; with 31-

50% of full hit points are 5 feet wide; with 51-70% of full hit points, 6

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