SILENT POWER
By Stuart Wilde
Chapter One
THE GETTING OF WISDOM
Every so often you meet a person who is very different. You can't put your finger on what it is that attracts you to this individual, but he or she exudes a mystery and strength, radiating a silent power that is strange and beguiling.
What is this unseen force? Why do some have it and most do not? Once you have it, silent power becomes your unspoken credential. It's a charisma that gradually grows and develops around you. Through it you can express a special goodness that helps people - and this planet - to change for the better.
From your silent power comes flow; from that flow comes simplicity of heart; from simplicity of heart comes contentment.
Some people, such as martial arts masters, gain silent power over the years anyway. They do it via emotional control and physical discipline, which quiets their energy naturally. They exude an effortless strength. Physical exercise and discipline are valuable in developing silent power, because they help you control the destructive side of the ego. But, you need more than just a good physique and fitness ~ you need awareness as well.
Now a little hocus-pocus. It doesn't matter if you don't believe in hocus-pocus; the basis of this concept is real enough. You don't have to worry too much about technical details. Put the intellect aside, and cut to a technology that works. That's my way.
Around you is a subtle electromagnetic body of energy that is sometimes called the subtle body of energy and is normally unseen by the naked eye. The ancient Greeks called it the etheric body. This is where the real you resides. It's also where your real feelings reside.
Imagine it to be a fait energy field like a colorless mist. But, unlike a slow wafting mist, the etheric is moving very, very quickly. Flashing through it are mini-lightning bolts of energy, and fingers of flamelike etheric sunbursts that shoot out from you I all directions. Underlying the flashes are great waves of rolling energy that move up and down and sometimes outwards, tumbling and turning in response to emotion. You walk inside an amazing glowing bubble of light that sometimes projects three to four feet away from you in every direction.
The etheric is fascinating and beautiful to watch. I find it very humbling - the secret human is all there to see, spiritually naked in his or her identity. In that vulnerability dwells the very essence of our human experience - painted in the electromagnetic flashes, wisps, and lightning bolts that are projected from you.
In the etheric, you see how the human condition is complicated by the ego/personality, but you can have a deep compassion for it. For a human is not just a mind, a body, or an emotion - it is light. The brilliance of that human light overshadows the personality traits and weaknesses that come from human frailty.
In the vitality of the light is the sacrosanct identity of the eternal spiritual being. The presence of this wonderful gift of the etheric body grants you a silent power as ancient as time. It is the spiritual heritage that flows from your connection to the God-Force.
With a little training, you can sit and watch the fascinating etheric dance to which we all belong. I surmise that many of the great unexplained metaphysical mysteries are contained within it. Later in this book, there are several exercises to increase your etheric perception. But seeing the etheric is not as important as knowing it's there, project it correctly and learning to perceive it via your subtle feelings.
After 12 years of experimenting, of watching people, I can guarantee that the light is definitely there. In fact, I have never seen an animal or a human who didn't have an etheric. On an energy level, it's the blueprint of the real human. Coming to see what works etherically and what doesn't has been a slow process for me, but has been worth the effort, for the mysterious world of the etheric is one of the last unconquered frontiers. It's where everything is explained: hand-on healing, subliminal energy, charisma, power, telepathy, extrasensory perception, and perhaps even the mystery of life and death itself.
I am now convinced that, on a subtle level, everyone is subliminally aware of the etheric. When you reach out with your mind and touch other people's energy, they feel it. Often they turn around, blink, or respond in some way. They react, even though they don't know why. When two people meet, you can watch an etheric process take place. A synapse fires across the empty space between the individuals; the energy of each mingles momentarily with the other, exchanging trillions of pieces of information in a split second.
We have each had the experience of others reacting to us; often there seems to be no logic to it. But, in fact, people do pick up on our subtle energy, and even if they can't see it or put it into words, they feel it and, subliminally, they know. They vote yes, no, or maybe, according to the qualities and strength of the energy we project.
The power of your etheric is made up of several factors: the speed at which it oscillates, the intensity of the energy (how much is happing at any one moment), and the consolidated or contained nature of the field. In an untrained person, his or her etheric is flashing its wispy fingers of energy out all over the place - touching others, interfering with them, often sucking energy from others, impinging on them. The speed is slow-ish, the intensity is weak; sometimes it is torn, usually through an excess of drugs and alcohol, and has no solid definition. It reacts a lot to emotion, wobbling and slopping
about like an enormous pile of jelly on a plate - rocking, rolling in jerking spastic motions, back and forth.
Of course, you don't have to see the etheric in order to work on it, repair it if it's damaged, and make it strong. Because it expresses what you are, it's affected by your whole state of being, including your physical condition, your mental and emotional balance, and your fortitude. All this is manifest as a sense of well-being - how alive you feel, how secure you feel, and how you view the eternal spiritual self that dwells within.
So the first step to the mystery of silent power is to strengthen your psychological and emotional attitudes. This will boost your sense of well-being. It will also help you externally, as people will see from your body language, by what you say, and by your general attitude, that you are strong. Intellectually, they will think you're strong, but inwardly - at the subconscious level - they will feel land know that you are strong. They will automatically react positively. People like controlled strength; it makes them feel safe and supported.
Come - let's start by considering what power really is, and then we'll discuss leaning and not leaning. I'll show you something obvious, something that 99 percent of the population don't see.
Chapter Two
THE POWER HUNGRY - THE POWER STARVED
What is normally considered to be power is not real power at all. Chasing money, glamour, sex; wanting control over others - political and military power - all are manifestations of the ego. They are often glorified forms of showing off; they dwell in the currency of the ego, and they often appeal only to other egos, so they are subject to people's whims. A person can be rich and successful and still be very weak. Money doesn't give you real strength; it just keeps you comfortable while you experience your dysfunction. The world of the ego is brittle, fragile, and insecure; it never feels really safe, and has no lasting worth. The ego's world dies. More often than not, it self- destructs.
With the explosion of the mass media and the information superhighway, glamour, hype, and showing off have replaced true worth. The 32-second sound bite is more important than real facts. A glossy, skimmed-down version of life is all anyone has time for, as each views with the other for a momentary place in the sun.
Many people are victimized by their egos; they feel power-starved, and so they crave to be special. Of course, everyone is special in their own spiritual way, but the mass media has heightened people's need to seek fame and attention. Thirsting for power, in the ego's sense of power, they go through the ludicrous chase of trying to be important, trying to become special in the eyes of others, seeking praise, seeking status. This frenetic chase destroys and saps their energy.
Because the ego is insecure, its fears need to be quelled, so it dominates our psychology, firing off endless demands. It desperately wants things - right now - that will help it feel better. We are programmed as children to make the ego important and to try to keep it happy, and this mesmerizes us into reacting to its every need.
We don't realize that controlling the ego through discipline is a lot simpler than trying to satisfy it all the time. By gratifying the ego, one may get a fleeting respite from its craving and demands, but then it's on - on to the next gratification. The ego always wants more.
It's life on the mouse wheel, each trotting as fast as possible to stay in the same place. Endless effort, misspent on illusion. You can see why people are programmed into it - they are psychologically immature. It's all a bit sad.
"Trying to Be Someone" comes from an insecurity, which stems from the ego's need for observers and admirers. It needs acknowledgment and stimulation to feel solid. But leaning psychologically and emotionally out into the world - demanding to be noticed, trying to be cool, seeking approval and acceptance, trying to impress, seeking praise and respect - creates imbalance and weakness. It is, in fact, an affirmation that says, "I'm not okey, I need others to approve of me in order to feel secure." By leaning psychologically, you weaken yourself. Imagine constantly leaning forward at a sever angle, reaching out - you are perpetually poised, heading for a fall.
Trying to win people over and hoping the world will accept you for your wonderfulness is futile and weak. It destroys your real power; the stress of it can make you ill. Even if you get what you want, it rarely lasts. Today's success becomes tomorrow's rejection. Leaning psychologically is a fault; it undermines what you are. Gradually you become the manifestation of other people's reality - subject, of course, to all their fickle whims, moods, and power trips. By accommodating the ego in this way, you drift from the real spiritual you that dwells within - which is contained and solid - to a fake you that is brittle, self-indulgent, and powerless. You can tell people how marvelous you are, and a hundred others can sing your praises and pump your worth, but all that is PR and hype. In the end, you are only worth the etheric feeling you exude. That is a spiritual, metaphysical reality; everything else is illusion and dysfunction. If you want to be accepted, accept yourself. If you want to be acknowledged, acknowledge yourself. Simple.
Let's leave hype and clatter, which are weak, and head to the less obvious silence - where consolidation and real strength lie.
Chapter Three
THE SILENT CONSOLIDATION OF POWER
Let's talk about psychological consolidation, then on to other practical ideas for solidity and calm.
My martial arts teacher says that when people go through the motion of walking, what they are doing, in effect, is going through a controlled fall. They lean forward with their upper bodies and throw out a leg just in time. That's why even a small crack in the pavement can tip them over.
Psychologically and emotionally, life is the same as walking for most people. They constantly lean into life, yearning, dreaming, pining. They are often dissatisfied with what they are and with what they have. Instead, they seek someone or something to lift them up. They want to be declared special - they want life easy, delivered on a plate.
In the process of leaning, they trash their emotional balance and drift from one gratification to another. They exist at the edge of their balance and their ability to control. One adverse condition - a casual remark, a small setback - and their energy collapses. Psychologically and emotionally, they fall on their noses.
The initial point in consolidating your silent power is to discipline yourself to stop leaning. When you are the most desperate to lean in on people, that's when you should exercise control. The game is called: "Stand Straight in Life." Not many have heard of it.
First, don't lean toward things you don't have. Affirm, visualize, and take action instead.
Second, try not to lean into the future by talking or thinking about it constantly. Instead, take time each day to make the "now" special, honoring what you do have and what you have achieved. Avoid what I call plan-itis. Endlessly making plans and talking about them-"one day, someday..." trashes your power and gets you nowhere-no results and no action.
Third, start to design your life so that you don't require things from others. Try to need only those things you can get yourself. And don't suck on people emotionally or intellectually.
When you lean psychologically or emotionally on people or toward them, it's a sure sign of insecurity. It makes others feel uncomfortable. They resent the weight you are laying on them, and they will react by denying you. They don't like your self-indulgence, and your insecurity reminds them of their own vulnerability; it rattles them. Animosity builds.
Consciously and subliminally, they sense the weakness your leaning creates. It robs them of energy and crowds them; they have to buy into your needs and emotions when they would prefer to concentrate on their own. They don't like the imposition, and often they react negatively, even if they don't say so.
Alternatively, they accept the imposition of your weight, but then they feel they can take advantage of you emotionally, sexually, or financially. They will feel empowered to use you or deprecate you or discredit you in some way. Remember, when your energy touches others, they subliminally know if you are weak or strong - it affects how they see you.
I'm sure you know what I mean. Visualize someone who leans on you. Replay in your mind the emotions and the thoughts that their leaning generates in you. Remember how you react to their sometimes desperate needs. Notice how often they rob you of your energy, how in minutes you feel exhausted.
Don't do that to others; it dis-empowers you. A little unemotional leaning in some circumstances can be okay - others may feel pleasure in supporting you or assisting you. But too much leaning, and they will vote "no."
It does not mean that you can't ask for help-sometimes you can-but there is a difference between asking dispassionately for help and constantly leaning on others emotionally, demanding that they ameliorate your inadequacy or insecurity.
Thus, an important first step in silent power is don't lean. It's obvious, but most don't know it. When you are frantic for people, your needs have an air of desperation-they weaken you and push things away from you.
Have you ever had a romantic relationship where the other person was all over you like a hot rash, desperate for you? What did you do? Probably, for the first few days you enjoyed the attention, but on day three you gave this man or woman a hard time and you started to tow him or her around by the nose. You enjoyed that for a bit, but in the end, this desperation and insecurity bugged you; eventually you tossed this person out. When you're in love and you crave someone, if this individual keeps his or her distance or retreats from you, then your desire increases. If this person advances too far forward, your desire lessens, or may dissipate completely. When you are desperate for a deal and you lean into it, you push it away and/or you wind up paying more. It's called "wanting- it" tax. Before every deal, take a moment in the hallway to remind yourself that you don't need it. If you don't get it, it doesn't bother you. If you do get it, it will be under your terms, and you won't pay too much.
Even if your natural tendency is to lean into people - because, let's say, you are a very social person - don't lean. Make that a discipline. You can be social without leaning in. Put a sign on your refrigerator door: "When in doubt, lean out!"
Silent power often requires the contrary approach. When others lean, step back; when they cry out, remain silent; when they run, you walk. Stay in control and exude stability, even if you don't feel too sure of yourself just yet. Don't show your weakness. Be strong.
Be brave. Internalize any disquietude, and work on it later. Initially, you may not be completely solid inwardly, but you can still come across as solid externally. The inward power comes as you act out and affirm your strength and control.
Through your solidity, you help others feel secure. They seek you out, life gets easier, and it feels much better. Become the sage, remain composed, be silent, stand straight etherically. Stay inside what you know-be content, don't have too many needs. Work on yourself.
Anyway, you are probably stronger than you think. Many of the people you meet may initially seem solid. But they soon expose themselves, and you can see that they are, in fact, in silent crisis-victims of their egos. Their real power is weak and polluted. It leaves them open and exposed to the ups and downs of life. They will constantly seek to etherically borrow energy, sucking on any life force they can find. They will have house plants that die and pets that get sick a lot.
There is a law in physics that allows subatomic particles to borrow energy for just a millisecond. The particle moves temporarily to a faster orbit, but an instant later it has to repay the borrowed energy; it falls (decays) to its ground state-a slower oscillation that it can more comfortably sustain.
Etherically, humans follow the same laws. You can borrow energy from another, but you can't inherit it perpetually. A small boost, and then back you go to where you were before.
Etheric suckers grab your power as you pass them. It depreciates you. At a deep, subconscious level, they drag you away from life and closer to death. However, before you get too indignant, I have to tell you that we all pull energy from others occasionally, especially when we are tired or emotionally drained. As your energy sinks, it's human to reach for the nearest life raft. In answer to your question, "How do I protect my energy?," I've included a few ideas in Chapter Nine. Meanwhile, let's return to silent power for the moment.
People don't resonate silent power because, for most, the overriding issue in life is security. The ego's function is to keep you focused on staying alive - everyone is out and about trying to do just that. The issues of security dominate your psychology, everything you do, and much of what you say. It undermines your strength.
Everyone is silently preoccupied and worried about something, so the etheric energy is diffused and disconcerted, in some more so than in others. People worry about death and violence; they worry about things changing or dying, not just their bodies. Anything that has the potential to change worries them - the death of a relationship, the death of a job, the death of a daily rhythm that they are used to, the death of a privileged position, and so on. As I said in my book, Weight Loss for the Mind, it's the death of things that scares people.
The mind functions in this way: "If this relationship falls apart, I'll fall apart, my job might go, and with it my lifestyle, and following that, my body may change from alive to not alive." At a deep subconscious level, an argument with the boyfriend becomes a threat-a life-and-death struggle-not just a discussion about the dispute in question. That's why people can get so upset about things that seem trivial. There is an energy war going on, each seeking to preserve their etheric life force while, consciously or subconsciously, they are in a titanic struggle with the demons of insecurity.
When they are not worrying about dropping dead, they are usually thinking about themselves, preening the ego with self-satisfying thoughts, brushing its little tail and generally making themselves as special as possible. If they aren't thinking about themselves, they are talking about themselves, keeping others amused with thrilling concepts of life in the slow lane. More often than not, they are calling on you to listen, to notice and acknowledge them, to observe them. It can be exhausting. Don't you do it to others.
Stay inside your power where you feel the most secure. And work on controlling the ego. Discipline it, so that you move from its fragile world to the immortal certainty of spirit. There you will feel the eternity within you, and your insecurity will gradually melt. You'll accept life as you find it, rather than struggling against it, and you'll know that there's no death and no failure. So accept the comings and goings of life, and flow to your highest good with little resistance and great joy.
The more you control your emotions and the reactions of your personality, the more consolidated and powerful your etheric becomes. Once your etheric energy is no longer jerking back and forth, wobbling and squirming and falling over itself, a gracious solidity develops around you. Now you'll be able to see through your own etheric, to the world of pure energy beyond. A quantum leap takes place within, and a great perception descends upon you. But, remember, silent power is a strength you quietly express, not one you wield. It's born from the seeds of self-control. The Tao Te Ching says:
To understand others is to have knowledge; To understand oneself is to be illuminated. To conquer others needs strength; To conquer oneself is harder still. To be content with what one has is to be rich... '
' From The Way and Its Power, by Arthur Waley. George Allen & Unwin Ltd., London, 1934.
Chapter Four SILENT TALKING
Part of learning not to lean is to get control of your dialogue. Most people talk too much, and what they do say is often just noise or irrelevant gibberish designed to keep themselves entertained. One of the keys to silent power is to control your need to talk. The rules of this consolidation are as follows:
Make it a discipline not to discuss your personal details with others. Develop mystery, silence, and a secrecy about your life. Don't allow people to know your deep, innermost self. Sure, you may have a friend you want to discuss things with from time to time. But, generally speaking, don't talk about yourself. If you have to, do so only in general terms and only when people ask you. Of course, sometimes the situation may require you to talk about yourself - for example, in an office situation where you have to describe your abilities. But, for the most part, keep quiet.
If you have to give instructions-or if you need to share your feelings when setting a personal boundary with another person, perhaps-choose your words carefully. A powerful person doesn't waste words, doesn't waffle and drift, but instead, thinks through what he or she wants to say and expresses these thoughts succinctly and purposely. The most powerful way to speak is with brevity.
Next, when engaging in dialogue with others, try to remain underneath them psychologically, rather than talking across them or even down to them from above. Let me explain. Talking above people is trying to make them feel inferior, pushing yourself onto them, or attempting to force your ideas upon them. It's dominating the conversation with endless tales of your experiences - hogging the stage.
If these people say they've been to China, and you respond by saying you've been there 19 times, you are trying to get above them, and you're being combative. Sages don't need to combat. They are eternal and infinite and a part of everything. In the "everything," there is no high or low, so they have no need to compete. They can just be. It's enough.
The Tao says, "Those who know do not speak; those who speak do not know." It goes on to say that once one has achieved self-control, "the mysterious leveling," a perception of the Infinite Self follows-whereupon life is not limited by your talking or by your need to define it, and you, in turn, are free of its definitions. Eternal.
The Tao talks of this process of self-control:
"...This is called the mysterious leveling.
He who has achieved it cannot either be drawn into friendship or repelled, Cannot be benefited, cannot be harmed, Cannot be raised up or humbled,
And for that reason is the highest of all creatures under heaven."
2See Note 1.
This means that the sage is the highest because he, or she makes him/herself the lowest- by controlling the ego (the mysterious leveling)-and disappearing into the Infinite Self instead.
Most people who talk out of ego, talk to hear themselves. They are not usually interested in what you have to say. While you talk, they are waiting to respond with something bigger and better. So, you mention you're taking a vacation, and they mention every vacation they've ever been on. Those people are dreary, because they are insecure, and they have to win you over by trying to impress you.
Most of what people say doesn't impress you, does it? Mostly, it bores you. If the story of their vacation is particularly interesting or amusing, or there's something to learn from it, okay. But generally speaking, when they're telling you about their vacation, they're only pleasing themselves by trying to combat with you. You're going on a vacation, but they've been on bigger, better, more expensive ones. So, be careful with your dialogue, and try not to compete with other people. If they talk about their trip to France, and you lived in France for 20 years, don't mention it. Just listen to them. That way, you start to develop a style of dialogue that is underneath people. When your ego isn't leaning, pushing, shoving, and pressing upon them, you learn more about people, and you can love them and support them. By doing so, you exhibit solidity, and strength of character. It also allows others to feel supported by your presence, which grants you a silent charisma - silent power.
Silent talking involves first watching and listening. Next, it involves projecting love to the person you're listening to, or projecting understanding or compassion. You're getting people to voice their insecurities. You're standing tall for people by momentarily subjugating your ego's needs for theirs. Sounds weird, doesn't it? Standing tall and getting underneath others. But it's really a matter of controlling your dialogue so the other person can talk and feel more secure. You don't have to dominate, because you don't have to compete. And you don't have to feel more secure - you are perpetually secure.
So, don't talk gibberish. Most people invent things, exaggerate, or they don't know what they're talking about. They rarely have a command of what's being discussed, so they'll parrot something they've read in the paper, or they'll take something they saw on TV and regurgitate it for your benefit. Most have no access to real information, so a lot of their attitudes, and the information they do have, is secondhand. Stay inside what you know. If you're an expert on something, fine. You can talk about it if people ask. But generally speaking, don't talk gibberish, and don't bother trying to impress people.
It's very difficult to impress people with words, isn't it? Even though you may have done some incredible things, the very fact that you're telling others will make them react negatively. They will compare themselves to you and either see themselves in a bad light
- which may make them angry - or consider themselves better than you - so you haven't impressed them anyway. By talking to impress people, you set up a competition. It's irritating. It has certainly irritated you in the past when you've had to sit for half an hour listening to the story of someone's vacation in France.
You can imply power and knowledge by not saying much. At most, offer something such as: "Ah, yes. Certainly. I know. Uh-huh. I understand." You can exude silent strength with just a tilt of the head, by rubbing your chin, with a wry smile, or by looking people in the eye. Never forget, you are a genius until you open your mouth.
So, while others are talking, you'll watch and perceive. Notice if their eyes dilate, watch their hand movements, see if the color of their skin changes. You'll notice if they swallow or blink, watch the slight changes in the muscles of the face, notice how people shift position sometimes when they're uncomfortable. If you see their eyes shift quickly down on a diagonal, usually to the left, you'll know that's a moment of discomfort for them, that it may mean they're lying.
When you stand inside your silence, you are in touch with the feeling of the moment, you perceive and understand what is actually being said. Anyway, you can lead a conversation without saying very much, by asking simple questions. So, if you want a conversation to go a certain way, you pull it along by asking the questions that take it in the required direction. By asking questions, you're exhibiting an interest in other people, and you're supporting them. Then, if they come up with something particularly negative or express their insecurity, you can affirm positivity, you can affirm love, you can affirm life with just a few words. They might remark how terrible a situation is, and you can say, "It's not so bad. I'm sure it will resolve itself. Everything comes to pass given time." You allow them to feel that you're there for them.
Be shrewd. Resist having to present yourself on the ego's stage. Quiet yourself and watch others. As you silently observe, touch them with your feelings. Ask yourself-silently, of course-how do these people feel? What are they actually saying? What do they really want? Who are they? What is their strongest path? If asked, what is my best response?
If they ask you a question-whether you think they should go to France or take a mountaineering trek around the Rockies, for example, don't respond immediately with what you think might be best for them. Pause for a moment. Touch them with your feelings. Feel the response in your subtle feelings that is communicated to you from deep within their reality.
Everyone knows the answer to their own question, although sometimes they're not aware of it, for it lies hidden. At best, you can only tell them what they already know. Your "logical" answer will not necessarily be the correct one. By tapping into their feelings, you'll be amazed how often you come up with an answer that is neither France nor the mountains, but something completely different. Something such as, "What I feel might be best for you is to stay at home for a month, completely clean out your house, order your life, settle your bills, and get control of your affairs."
So, as you remain silent, what you're expressing is not only a humility, but a care and love for others. It's a finesse that comes from not having to lead. It's an expertise that comes from understanding that you're a spirit, not an ego.
Another part of silent talking I should mention is that once you're settled, you will learn to talk passively and equitably. Many people, feeling their disquiet and irritation with life, like to hurt others emotionally; or they are vindictive, or judgmental and critical. They shout their abuses and try to deprecate people with verbal violence. It shows them up for what they are, immature and chronically diseased. Don't use verbal violence to hurt people or to make them less. And don't be cynical.
The Cynics were an ancient Greek sect despised because of their arrogance and sarcastic contempt for sincerity and merit. They were nicknamed the dog-men (cynic comes from a Greek word for dog). The Cynics were known for their anger and their hatred of society, which they displayed by urinating publicly in the street-hence, the term dog-men. Don't be a dog-man that urinates on people's hopes and dreams. Remember, anybody you criticize or judge personally has to be at the very same energy level as you. If they were not at the same level, you would either not be aware of them or, being in a higher oscillation, you wouldn't bother to comment. Always try to build people up, or at least be neutral.
To deprecate others is not honorable, it's not necessary, it demonstrates your hidden anger, and it lowers your energy. By now, you should be past it.
Now, on to the more esoteric concept of silent talking. We all have the ability to silently communicate with each other. I don't just mean body language and facial signals; I mean communicating deep within. When people are talking to you, you can enter into a silent dialogue with their minds. Often what their subconscious minds tell you is not what their words are saying. There are several ways of conducting a silent dialogue. I'll give you a simple way, and one of the more sophisticated ways.
Of course, we are not used to the idea that we can access the mind of another, but once you know you can do it, it's easy. It's nothing more than just asking what you want to know. Look at the person's forehead, and extend your conc...
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