{1}{72}movie info: XVID 640x352 23.976fps 700.4 MB|/SubEdit b.4072 (http://subedit.com.pl)/ {426}{461}How do you do? {537}{612}Mr. Rob Zombie feels it would|be a little unkind {614}{693}to present this picture without|just a word of friendly warning. {695}{802}We are about to unfold|the story of El Superbeasto, {804}{845}a man of action. {847}{933}It is one of the strangest|tales ever told. {935}{1001}I think it will thrill you. {1003}{1054}It may shock you. {1056}{1125}It might even horrify you. {1127}{1228}So if any of you feel that you|do not care to subject your nerves {1230}{1265}to such a strain, {1267}{1339}now's your chance to, uh-- {1341}{1407}Well, we warned you. {3303}{3353}All right now, bitches, listen up. {3355}{3441}The director's on the set.|The director is on the set! {3443}{3531}Howdy-doodly-doo, ladies?|Gather round, gather round. {3533}{3594}Big Time Movie Casting|is now in session. {3596}{3714}I've got a very special porno--|I mean art film-- to shoot today. {3716}{3783}[chuckles]|So, time to get a-crack-a-lackin'. {3785}{3859}You heard him.|Get your asses a-crack-a-lackin'! {3861}{3946}Now just to let you know, I'm not|one of those shallow Hollywood types {3948}{3985}that casts based on looks. {3987}{4025}I'm all about pure talent. {4027}{4074}I want the audience to believe|in the characters, {4076}{4122}to experience the emotions, {4124}{4187}breathe in the spicy meatball man, {4189}{4218}as they breathe life itself. {4220}{4268}All right, Granny, {4270}{4338}tell me a little about|why I should ignore the fact {4340}{4388}that you're, like,|a thousand years old. {4390}{4502}In 1910, I attended the|Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts {4504}{4602}- on full scholarship, winning the...|- Next. {4604}{4643}...stunning portrayal of Blanche Dubois|[screams] {4645}{4703}[giggles]|Oh my God! {4705}{4780}I know I'm, like,|totally like a star. {4782}{4826}I know it!|[giggles] {4828}{4852}Perfect perfect! {4854}{4901}You're hired. Next. {4903}{4985}I dig into the inner texture|of the soul of the character {4987}{5044}- and reflect society's issues with women...|- [snoring] {5046}{5101}- ...and their hatred of the vagina.|- Next! {5103}{5134}- Let me tell you--|- No. {5136}{5178}- I'd really like to--|- Next! {5180}{5226}- People make me nauseous.|- No way! {5228}{5262}- Hello!|- Nope. {5264}{5300}- Who do I have to fuck--|- No. {5302}{5344}- Oh, Edgar, why did you--|- Ugh! {5346}{5385}- I'm ready for my-- whoa!|- Next! {5387}{5447}Well, hello, honeypants. {5449}{5519}[giggles]|I think a good tan is as important {5521}{5551}as a good script, you know? {5553}{5616}Also, I can't really read so good, {5618}{5686}but I can do 300 crunches|without stopping. {5688}{5743}Words are so overrated. {5745}{5833}But on the other hand, tight abs--|so underrated. {5835}{5883}[breathing]|Oh, oh my God. {5885}{5922}Quiet on the set! {5924}{5949}Man:|Sound speeds. {5951}{6039}"Big Spicy Meatball Macho Man,"|take one. {6041}{6086}Man #2:|And action! {6125}{6166}Uh, line. {6168}{6241}"Mama mia, how about|some a-delicious sauce-- " {6243}{6299}Yeah yeah, I got it. {6332}{6383}Man #2:|Okay, and we're still rolling, mate. {6385}{6475}Mama mia, how about|some delicious sauce {6477}{6546}for the spicy a-jumbo meatballs? {6548}{6614}Ow! What are you,|like totally weird? {6616}{6666}That's, like, so hot! {6668}{6746}If it's not a-hot, how am I|gonna melt-a the cheese? {6748}{6801}Luigi, she wonder why|it is too hot. {6803}{6841}The cheese a-not gonna melt! {6843}{6882}[screaming] {6884}{6986}[speaks broken Italian] {6988}{7049}Aw, shut up a you face. {7051}{7117}[speaks broken Italian]|God! {7119}{7195}That's what I call a spicy meatball! {7197}{7275}- Oh, Luigi!|- Oh! [chuckles] {7277}{7313}[speaking Italian] {7421}{7456}[moans] {7458}{7499}- Mama mia!|- You like-a Luigi? {7501}{7549}Yes, a-you do! {7551}{7623}- [moaning]|- Mama mia! {7625}{7688}[train whistle blows]|Ahhhh! {7690}{7759}How do you like-a|my canole now, eh? {7761}{7855}I'm gonna fill you up|with my cream! {7857}{7906}[laughs] {7908}{7986}Oh, Mama. The big finish--|she's inside! {7988}{8011}[growls] {8013}{8071}Get ready!|Holy monkey! {8073}{8108}That wasn't in the script! {8272}{8300}Here we go again. {8467}{8525}Please tell me|that was good for focus. {8527}{8561}Yeah, focus was good.|We got it. {8563}{8586}Check that gate, baby! {8588}{8634}Yeah, good gate. {8636}{8709}That's a wrap. Make sure|you hand in your paperwork {8711}{8796}to Production before you leave. {8798}{8898}Whoo! After a hard day|of directing-slash-acting, {8900}{8969}there's only one way|I like to chillax. {8971}{9013}Titty bar! {9050}{9113}Now let's see.|Confidence? Check. {9115}{9173}Frighteningly chiseled|good looks? Check. {9175}{9220}Noticeable obscene bulge {9222}{9266}emanating from the lower region? {9268}{9297}Cat: What the fuck?|[meows, howls] {9299}{9340}A check-a-doodle-doo. {9342}{9401}Later, G. {9403}{9442}[recorded voice]|Keep it real, playa. {9444}{9474}[doorbell rings] {9476}{9528}Hey, I'm here to kill the bats. {9530}{9615}Carry on, my simpleminded,|minimum-wage friend. {9617}{9675}Yeah, I only kill these things|on the side. {9677}{9757}I got me an application in|to the Dinky Donuts. {9759}{9815}I know I know,|you want an autograph. {9817}{9842}Oh, that'd be great. {9844}{9889}Sorry, I don't sign. {9891}{9947}I feel it damages|my artistic credibility. {9949}{10002}- What?|- Oh, fine. {10004}{10068}Take a headshot, and here,|a Superbeasto bumper sticker. {10070}{10132}Put it on your shit car.|Now lay off! {10134}{10166}Cow-a-yay-ya! {10190}{10251}It's about time for my theme song,|don't you think? {10253}{10310}Maestro, if you please. {10312}{10409}{y:i}# Left upon a darkened stair # {10411}{10434}{y:i}# A baby thick with body hair # {10436}{10482}{y:i}# A wrestling family|heard the cries # {10484}{10513}{y:i}# And learned him|how to murderize # {10515}{10548}{y:i}# He soon grew up|and up and up # {10550}{10579}{y:i}# And now this|not-so-little pup # {10581}{10622}{y:i}# Had found a knack|for pounding guts # {10624}{10657}{y:i}# While pounding booze|and pounding sluts # {10659}{10693}{y:i}# Assholes,|better watch your ass # {10695}{10731}{y:i}# Here comes a mangler|with a mask # {10733}{10763}Ring announcer:|His hands are like hammers. {10765}{10818}Each one is too big.|All surrender. {10820}{10872}He renders them tenderized meat! {10874}{10950}Men yelling: Ram 'em, jam 'em,|block 'em, clock 'em! {10952}{11056}{y:i}# El Superbeasto! # {11058}{11085}[speaking Spanish] {11087}{11180}{y:i}# El Superbeasto! # {11226}{11268}Woman:|{y:i}# El Superbeasto! # {11370}{11418}Oh, shit! {11420}{11478}Hey, man, what the hell? {11480}{11534}I get my hands on you, I-- {11536}{11597}Gee, wipers--|whoo hoo hoo! {11686}{11756}[disco music playing] {11819}{11898}Hiya, Beasto.|Good to see you back. {11900}{11961}Well, it's good to see|your back too! {11963}{12050}- Or should I say crack? [laughs]|- Oh, Beasto! {12052}{12099}[bullets ricochet] {12150}{12208}Nice rack, buddy.|[laughs] {12210}{12306}[drunken] Houston,|we no longer have a problem. {12308}{12354}[screams] {12356}{12441}Time for a little|hair of the dog that bit me, Lloyd. {12443}{12512}- [both chuckle]|- Get it? "The Shining"? {12514}{12546}Hilarious. {12548}{12594}A fucking comedian. {12596}{12619}What'll it be, Beasto? {12621}{12689}I ain't in the mood for|tired '80s references, man. {12691}{12738}Make it the Ethel Merman. {12740}{12797}And because I'm a man|of superior taste, {12799}{12891}I will take an order|of your tasty hot wings. {12915}{12939}Doh! {12976}{13028}Sorry, was this seat taken? {13030}{13148}["Ride of the Valkyries" playing] {13213}{13251}[cackling] {13253}{13311}[wolves howling] {13508}{13536}[wolf whistle] {13632}{13730}- ["Mr. Roboto" ringtone]|- Yello, Beasto World Enterprises. {13732}{13814}Beasto, I'm in position.|Operation Iron Eagle is a go. {13816}{13885}Yeah, that's not really gonna|work for me. {13887}{13922}Can we pencil this in|for next Thursday? {13924}{13992}- Are you in a bar?|- No, I'm not in a bar! {13994}{14039}I'm entering a bad cell area. {14041}{14079}- I might lose--|- [beeping] {14081}{14104}Suzy? {14106}{14184}That was my agent. I'm working|a whole synergy thing {14186}{14254}with a win-win crossover|demographic branding thing. {14256}{14292}You wouldn't understand. {14294}{14344}Woman: Achtung, blondie! {14346}{14406}- No running in the halls!|- Hiya! {14408}{14469}Take that, Aryan assholes! {14471}{14513}What in the name|of the Fuhrer's head-- {14515}{14613}[speaking German] {14615}{14680}Gotta stay sweet.|[giggles] {14753}{14823}O.M.G.|Giant spiky iron ball? {14825}{14862}So clich?. {14864}{14931}I hate to waste you, sweetie,|but it's all in the name of freedom. {15146}{15171}Uh-oh. {15223}{15250}[bells, alarms ringing] {15252}{15308}Feet, start moving! {15362}{15401}Whoa, Mama! {15452}{15537}I bet MacGyver never had|anything like this next to his ta-tas! {15571}{15639}Weee!|[grunts] {15641}{15664}[scream] {15666}{15735}Hey, Murray, baby.|Did you miss me? {15737}{15796}Yes, of course I missed you. {15798}{15868}I missed you like the stars|miss the moon. {15870}{15921}Murray, you need a girlfriend. {15923}{15984}Hmm. If only I could|think of someone. {15986}{16017}[grunt] {16019}{16090}I was thinking--|I mean, I thought of someone-- {16092}{16115}- Hold that thought.|- [record needle scratches] {16117}{16164}We better make like|a banana and split, baby. {16166}{16193}Uh, okay. {16291}{16350}[yodeling] {16409}{16496}Hey, man, what's a girl gotta do|to get a theme song around here? {16498}{16560}{y:i}# Suzi # {16562}{16671}{y:i}# Where...
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