Northern Exposure 313 Things become extinct.txt

[34][78]Oh, cool! The lemon-scented|table lights came in.|Yeah. Ruth-Anne rush ordered 'em.
[79][106]Holling's been dying to try these.
[106][148]Wow. Little glass fishes.
[148][181]They're anchovies.|Usually I don't like anchovies.
[182][202]Well, not on pizza anyway.
[202][243]You know, I've been looking for something|just like that to film for my project.
[244][263]A rare artist at his craft.
[263][291]They're fishing lures. I got 'em|over at the Bait and Tackle.
[291][325]- They have lots of kinds.|Minnows, smelt,|- Oh, that won't work.
[326][355]You see, I need|something really rare.
[356][388]Somebody who can make something|nobody else can make...
[389][425]or do something nobody else can do,|like Holling's pies.
[426][463]- The lemon chiffon|with crushed pineapple?|- And the graham cracker crust.
[464][489]He got the recipe off|the back of a box of Jell-O.
[490][510]Shelly, order up.
[510][530]Sorry.
[628][652]Nice bag.
[663][688]Unakhotana?
[689][707]Bloomingdale's catalog.
[1210][1229]Ed, I hate to be obstructionist.
[1229][1254]The last thing I wanna do is stand|between a person and his calling.
[1255][1296]Do I really need to be captured in the act|of making a tuna sandwich now?
[1297][1327]- I'm sorry, Dr. Fleischman.|- Thank you. Now, what are you doing?
[1328][1354]You puttin' together|another Cicely slice-of-life?
[1355][1382]This is professional.|I'm getting paid for this.
[1383][1403]Who's paying you?
[1403][1440]I answered this ad on the back|of Filmmaker's Market Quarterly.
[1441][1469]Right here.|"Footage on the vanishing breed."
[1469][1498]"For more details,|write Box 42039."
[1499][1524]What's that? Like when they|advertise ecological roach killers,
[1525][1545]and you get back|a block of wood?
[1546][1566]Oh, no, this is strictly legitimate.
[1567][1613]I get 50 bucks, and I get my name|in the credits. Ed Chigliak.
[1614][1642]Wait. Vanishing breed.|You did say vanishing breed.
[1643][1668]- Yep.|- I'm not a vanishing breed.
[1669][1702]- Well, you're Jewish.|That's pretty rare.|- No, it isn't.
[1702][1735]- In Cicely it is.|- Lots of things are rare in Cicely.
[1735][1771]Box lunches, public transportation,|victimless crimes. That doesn't mean|they don't exist.
[1772][1808]Ed, being the only Jew in Cicely doesn't|make me the last condor in captivity.
[1809][1834]There's Jews everywhere. There's|probably thousands of'em in Alaska.
[1835][1854]- Tens of thousands.|- Really?
[1855][1891]Sure. Let's take a bigger town.|North Tongass, for instance.
[1892][1916]We'll look for Cohen.|It's the Jewish equivalent of Smith.
[1917][1936]Yankee Doodle Dandy.
[1937][1955]No, that's Cohan, with a "han."
[1956][1983]This is Cohen, with a "hen."
[1984][2002]Okay, let's see.
[2003][2045]I mean, in Queens alone, there's|probably some 300,000 listed Cohens.
[2045][2078]Okay, we have "Coghill."
[2079][2100]"Coldwell Banker."
[2100][2132]They have a Coldwell Banker.|They don't have a Cohen?
[2133][2152]Fine. How many people|could there be in Tongass?
[2153][2177]- 2,044.|- All right. Fairbanks.
[2177][2200]Major metropolitan area.|They have deli, right?
[2200][2234]Yep. Fairbanks, population 77,721.
[2235][2254]Okay.
[2254][2283]"Cohan, Cohan, Co,"
[2294][2320]There's one Cohen in the entire|greater Fairbanks area?
[2321][2343]All right, wait a minute.|How about Greenberg?
[2344][2363]There's always a Greenberg.
[2363][2390]Greenberg, Greenberg,|Greenberg, Greenberg.
[2391][2414]"Greenberg." Aha. See?
[2415][2439]Three Greenbergs.|Also "Greenberg's Florists.'
[2439][2475]Okay? I mean, there's plenty of Jews|in Alaska, Ed. There's plenty.
[2487][2506]Oh.
[2515][2537]I don't believe this.
[2538][2571]I'm looking at the entire list of the|borough of Arrowhead County residents.
[2572][2606]1,613 people.|Not one Jew on here.
[2607][2635]There's a "Brommel."|There's a "Finnegan."
[2636][2655]There's a "Tidewater."
[2656][2682]Oh, a "Signorelli".|I guess I should be grateful for that.|An Italian.
[2683][2703]Not one single Jew.|Not one.
[2703][2725]- How do you know?|- What?
[2726][2759]- How do you know?|- Well, you can tell from the names.
[2760][2786]- How?|- There are certain givens.
[2787][2821]Schwartz, Levine, Bloom,|Meyer, Markovitz, Silverman,
[2822][2842]Cliffner, Kirchner, Millner.
[2842][2861]You know, anything with "ner".
[2862][2884]- "Ner"?|- Yeah. Or "berg" or "blatt".
[2885][2907]Steinberg, Goldblatt.
[2908][2932]- "Blatt"?|- Here's a good one.
[2933][2962]"Almquist." Almquist. No Yiddish|spoken in that household.
[2963][3004]Now, Almquistein,|there you have a nice Jewish name.
[3004][3025]Now, look at this.
[3049][3075]I'm marooned in a county|the size of Wyoming.
[3075][3110]I'm the single only person|of the Hebr... Hebraic persuasion.
[3111][3137]Wait a minute.|I know this name.
[3138][3157]"Velachiske."
[3158][3195]- Velachiske. Is that Indian?|- Uh-uh. Russian.
[3196][3218]Russian. Of course.|Velachiske.
[3219][3248]The same name of the town my|grandmother came from in Russia, I think.
[3249][3271]Velachiske. Velachiske.|Yeah, I'm certain.
[3272][3297]I remember her talking about it.|They all had sheep,
[3298][3322]and the Cossacks came|and hit people on the head.
[3323][3356]This is very possible. There's|a big Russian population in Alaska.
[3366][3389]Velachiske. Boy, oh, boy.
[3389][3423]- What about Costner?|- Costner? What about it?
[3424][3444]Is that Jewish?
[3445][3471]Costner as in Kevin?|No, I don't think so.
[3471][3511]- It has a "ner".|- Well, yeah, it does, but it,
[3572][3604]I wonder if lightbulbs all last|the same amount of time.
[3605][3644]I don't know. Whenever one goes out,|I know it always surprises me.
[3662][3687]Hey, Ruth-Anne.|How's my girl?
[3688][3724]Ira Wingfeather. I haven't|seen you in a coon's age.
[3725][3744]I've been in Shageluk.
[3745][3768]Say, have I got some|duck flutes for you.
[3769][3801]- Wonderful.|- Yeah, I was sendin' them|down to Tucson.
[3802][3844]They were movin' as fast as I could|make 'em. This whole Indian revival thing.
[3845][3880]- But now, with the recession...|- Oh, wow, too bad.
[3881][3911]Oh, aren't they beautiful.
[3912][3930]So delicate.
[3931][3951]And look at the pinfeathers.
[3952][3988]Won't see anything like them anywhere.|Hand-carved, one of a kind.
[3989][4026]I'll put them right beside the cash register,|and they'll sell like hotcakes.
[4026][4050]- Same deal as always?|- 60-40.
[4050][4074]- 40-60.|- 50-50.
[4075][4095]Same as always.
[4095][4113]I'll catch you later, Ruth-Anne.
[4114][4136]Bye.
[4202][4221]- Mr. Wingfeather?|- Yes.
[4222][4256]Hi, I'm Ed. Um, I saw your flutes,|and they're really nice.
[4257][4293]- Well, thank you, Ed.|- Yeah. You're the only one that makes 'em?
[4294][4329]It's a lost art, young man.|A labor of love.
[4329][4357]Well, Mr. Wingfeather, I was wondering|if it'd be possible sometime...
[4358][4380]if I came out and filmed you|making those flutes.
[4380][4411]- Like when, Ed?|- How 'bout this afternoon?
[4412][4440]A self-starter. I like that.
[4457][4479]You ever consider sales?
[4514][4543]Touch of menthol in the towels today.
[4543][4564]Put some camphor in the soak.
[4565][4591]Very pleasant. Quite bracing.
[4608][4635]I think there's pomade|and butch wax in here.
[4636][4664]My whole airplane smelled|like a high school study hall.
[4665][4695]Thank you, Maggie.|Just put it down anywhere.
[4722][4746]- Is that you underneath there, Holling?|- In the flesh.
[4747][4775]- Got a letter for you.|- Not from the I.R.S. is it?
[4775][4798]Mmm, no.
[4798][4817]- Quebec.|- Oh, well, I'll be.
[4818][4837]Do you mind reading it|to me, Maggie?
[4838][4862]- No, no.|- It's from my Cousin Celeste.
[4863][4886]I haven't heard from her|in a long time.
[4896][4920]"Dear Holling. How are you?|We are fine."
[4920][4960]"I write to tell you sad news.|Uncle Charlie finally bit the dust."
[4975][4989]Uh,
[4989][5018]"He was playing backup for Aaron Neville|at Tipitina's in New Orleans,"
[5019][5039]"and he just keeled over."
[5040][5085]"The funeral was Tuesday. They bury them|above the ground there, you know."
[5085][5107]Uncle Charlie, dead?
[5132][5172]He was my father's brother.|Taught me to tie a tie.
[5173][5211]- Sorry, Holling.|- It's hard to believe the man is gone.
[5249][5268]I was down in Hollywood.
[5269][5288]I had a good thing goin'.
[5289][5316]Little bungalow|on Sunset Boulevard.
[5317][5349]Couple palm trees,|birds of paradise.
[5350][5392]You should see this plant.|It looks exactly like a flamingo.
[5392][5412]Did you ever work|with John Ford?
[5412][5447]No, but I saw him once|at the Copacabana, with the Duke.
[5448][5472]- John Wayne?|- Snider.
[5472][5510]Center fielder for Brooklyn,|when they were called the Bums.
[5511][5539]But you know Hollywood,|it's a fickle business.
[5540][5564]One minute, it's cowboys and Indians.
[5565][5600]Next thing you know, Dr. Kildare.
[5624][5672]- Should I start filming now?|- No. This one's not right.
[5693][5731]- Why not?|- I don't know.|Just doesn't grab me.
[5764][5803]Not that I didn't make money in Hollywood.|There's a lot of work for extras.
[5804][5833]And I had a good time.
[5886][5905]Here's one.
[5916][5944]Hey, that's a nice tomahawk.
[5944][5973]An ax or a saw might be|more practical.
[5974][6010]This belonged to my father,
[6010][6034]and his father before him.
[6066][6090]Yeah, perfect.
[6090][6109]Let's go back.
[6146][6169]- You know who was a decent fella, Ed?|- Who's that?
[6170][6194]- Matt Dillon.|- Gunsmoke.
[6194][6215]Give you the shirt off his back.
[6216][6238]I was sittin' between takes,|he comes over,
[6239][6262]shoots the breeze|just like one of the guys.
[6315][6336]Well, here we are.
[6337][...