[16][64]Seasons greetings, everybody,|from K-Bear, the heart and soul|of Cicely, Alaska. [65][87]This is Chris in the Morning.|From where I'm sitting, [87][126]I got a great view of all|the yuletide decorations|going up all over town. [127][170]That's right. Everywhere I turn my head,|I see ebony birds roosting for the holidays. [181][238]You know, twinkling, colored lights are nice,|and so are plastic Santas and reindeers|and manger scenes. [238][270]But, tell you something, friends, [268][316]nothing like the sight of|a beautiful, black-as-pitch raven|to get you in the Christmas spirit. [317][357]Oh, hey, that reminds me.|Congratulations to our own|Marilyn Whirlwind, [357][386]who's landed the part of|the Princess Susitna|in this year's raven pageant. [387][407]Break a wing, Marilyn. [408][451]Whoops! There stumbles Maggie O'Connell|in her usual Christmas mode. [451][498]She gets a little accident-prone|this time of year, so it's best for|your own safety, keep a wide berth. [499][529]Hey, this one's for everybody out there. [560][608]I understand the suicide rate goes up|dramatically around Christmastime. [608][641]Yeah, well, you know,|it's a stressful time of the year|for most people, Maurice. [642][690]Yeah. The thing is,|you go through the rest of the year fine. [691][735]You've got your friends,|you've got your business,|you're part of the community. [736][773]And then, round the middle of December, [774][805]if you're alone,|you start to feel like an outsider. [806][851]Well, you feel alienated. Here,|this is for you, top of your Christmas tree. [852][887]Thanks. You know,|it's the nature of a family holiday... [888][920]to make a single man|feel disenfranchised. [921][969]You're made to feel like|a hungry vagrant with your nose|pressed up against a window, [969][996]staring at somebody else's dinner. [997][1025]Maurice,|there's some people here to see you. [1026][1049]People? What the hell do they want? [1075][1096]Here, have a raven. [1097][1125]Thanks. [1135][1154]I'm Minnifield. [1179][1226]Hello. I'm Yung Bong Joo.|This is my dad, Yung Duk Won. [1226][1264]And my grandmom, Yung Yong Ja.|We're very happy to meet you. [1265][1287]Likewise, I'm sure. [1330][1342]- Who are you? [1343][1368]- He's my dad.|- Yeah, I got that part. [1368][1389]And your son. [1906][1941]- Hey, Ed. Dave.|- Hello, Dr. Fleischman. [1942][1959]- Christmas tree, huh?|- Uh-huh. [1959][1996]Good choice.|Full base. tapering off nicely at the top. [1996][2029]You know, a lot of people|go for the Douglas fir, but|I'm a spruce man too. [2030][2049]- Watch your end, Dave.|- Okay. [2049][2068]What a smell. [2068][2105]You know, a Christmas tree is wonderful|in and of itself, but it evokes so much. [2106][2135]It's images of snowmen, sleigh rides. [2136][2151]- You want us to cut you one?|- Me? [2152][2173]- Uh-huh.|- Guys, I'm Jewish. [2173][2212]- So?|- Well, I mean, a Christmas tree's|a major Christian symbol. [2213][2249]Next to the cross itself, you can't get|anything that's more Christian than that.|You know what I mean? [2260][2286]Traditionally, Jews try to avoid|Christian symbols. [2286][2314]Oh, well, you know,|Dave's an animist, and, uh, [2315][2334]- he has a Christmas tree,|right, Dave?|- Right. [2335][2365]Ah, yes. But Dave wasn't raised by|Herb and Nadine Fleischman. [2365][2389]Herb and Nadine Fleischman,|who would rather be flayed alive... [2390][2431]than allow so much as a candy cane,|let alone a full-blown|Christmas tree, into their home. [2432][2463]- Coming through.|- Not that I haven't fantasized|about having a tree. [2464][2481]- Watch it here.| Hold on. Hold on. [2482][2506]Hey, Lou, you still owe me. [2507][2541]You know, as a kid, our kitchen|window faced the living room|of this Irish family, the McGoverns. [2541][2581]I used to watch them decorate their tree.|They'd string popcorn, drape tinsel. [2582][2609]Like a Hallmark card.|I mean, this lovely tableau. [2610][2653]Christmas music on the radio.|So warm. So inviting. [2653][2684]- Watch it.|- Actually, you know,|I've always liked Christmas. [2685][2703]It's a great holiday|for a Jewish kid. [2704][2740]- I mean, two weeks off from school|and nothing expected of you.|- Right here, Ed. [2741][2775]And it's true that I've enjoyed|and even embraced other trappings|of the holiday season. [2776][2812]The music, the gift-giving.|You don't have to be Republican|to celebrate Lincoln's birthday. [2813][2858]So, when you think about it,|I'm, uh, I'm probably splitting hairs|in denying myself a tree, right? [2858][2889]- Right.|- So, you want one? [2889][2915]Huh. Let me think about it. [2934][2971]Hey, Fleischman, I got|your plaster bandages. [2971][3007]Oh, hey. Easy.|You all right? [3007][3055]- Why do you put yourself through this?|There's an easier way to get out of it.|- Put myself through what? [3056][3081]- Come on. Everyone knows|you hate going home for Christmas.|- So? [3082][3105]So, don't break your neck.|Just tell your parents you're busy. [3105][3148]First of all, Fleischman, you know,|my clumsiness is not part of|a subconscious agenda. [3149][3173]- And secondly, tell my parents|I'm too busy?|- Yeah. [3174][3204]Fleischman, that is one of|your more brainless ideas.|It's Christmas, Fleischman. Christmas. [3205][3228]You're not too busy. [3229][3265]- Aah!|- Hey, go easy on yourself.|I don't wanna have to use these on you. [3355][3391]- You like the glasses?|- They're cool. [3392][3420]They're hand painted...|from Czechoslovakia. [3421][3452]Look at the details.|You can see every feather. [3453][3474]They're really neat. [3474][3498]What's wrong, hon? [3499][3526]I don't know, Holling. [3527][3561]You seem a little down. [3562][3600]I was watching|this Christmas special on TV.|You know that really fat Italian singer... [3600][3640]- and this little boys' choir|in this big ol' cathedral.|- Yeah? [3641][3681]Well, it was like|I could smell the incense, you know? [3682][3708]Like I was back at|Our Lady of Refuge. [3709][3748]Christmas Eve, they always had|a midnight Mass. [3749][3782]And just before 12:00,|they used to turn off all the lights. [3802][3823]Then the organ would start to play, [3823][3875]and the doors would open,|and the choir would come down|the aisles carrying candles. [3876][3915]Then the altar boys.|Then Father Perone. [3916][3935]They'd all be singing. [3968][4016]I love the ravens, Holling.|I really do. [4017][4040]But it just doesn't feel like... [4041][4076]an old-fashioned,|Charlie Brown Christmas. [4112][4131]Hi, Grandpa. [4147][4188]Everything checks out.|Letters, documents, blood tests. [4205][4242]I acknowledge he's my son. [4275][4315]I was very young in Korea.|I was 16. [4316][4350]I forged my father's signature|so I could get in the Marine Corps. [4351][4384]I was a boy in a man's body. [4384][4404]I did some foolish things. [4447][4471]Never mind. [4472][4513]What do they want?|Ask her what she wants. [4542][4581]- Pork chops.|- No. Not to eat. [4581][4614]What do you want?|How much do you want from me? [4614][4638]Money. Dinero. Money. [4638][4676]- No, no, no. No. No dollar.|No. No dollar. No, no, no.|- Money, no. No money. [4677][4692]- No?|- No. No, no dollar. [4693][4724]- You don't want money?|- No dollar. [4724][4763]Then what are you doing here?|What are they doing here? [4802][4829]- My dad just want to meet you.|- That's it? [4842][4871]That's all?|You just wanna meet me? [4872][4897]- Yeah.|- Okay. [4898][4929]How do? Pleased to meet you. [4930][4952]Excuse me, Grandpa. [4970][4996]Now, just so we understand each other, [4997][5036]I want you to know that I live up to|my obligations. [5037][5059]But I also protect my interests. [5060][5091]If you intend to take me to court, [5092][5131]bear in mind that I have a team|of lawyers who will eat you for lunch. [5150][5201]That being said, enjoy your stay. [5231][5250]Kids look at holidays materialistically. [5250][5279]I always thought that Hanukkah|was a better deal. I mean,|you get eight presents, right? [5280][5306]They're staggered over a week.|You're forced to savor each one. [5307][5335]Careful, Bong. With Christmas,|you get everything all at once.|It's easy to overload. [5336][5369]- Whoa, whoa, whoa!|- We got it. We got it.|We got it. [5370][5407]There was only one year|I envied my neighbor. Tom McGovern. [5408][5446]He got this autographed|Bobby Mercer baseball glove.|God, I loved that glove. [5446][5481]Whoa! Whoa! All right.|Whoa. Okay. Go ahead. [5482][5501]Boy, it's shedding|all over the place. [5502][5533]Yep. Trees'll do that.|You might put a sheet under it. [5533][5554]Where would you like this,|Dr. Fleischman? [5555][5578]Uh, well, over by the fireplace. [5579][5599]- That's an appropriate place, right?|- Yeah. Not too close though. [5599][5628]Okay. All righty. [5629][5685]- On three. One, two, three.|- All right. [5686][5705]Wow. It's big.|Yeah. [5706][5730]- It's immense.|- Looks good. [5730][5768]- Well, see you later, Dr. Fleischman.|- Wait, wait. Where are you going? [5769][5800]Bong wants to check out|the new sinkhole over by|the Kinuk fault. [5800][5821]- Yeah.|- Hey, it's not going anywhere|for a few millennia. [5822][5870]- Stick around. I got sodas|and crackers, ice cream and...|- No, thanks, Dr Fleischman. [5870][5915]Wait a sec.|What about the tree?|I mean, what do I do? [5916][5951]Oh. Decorate it.|Bye. [6026][6046]Uh, excuse me. [6065][6092]I'm afraid I owe you an apology. [6093][6126]Your dress got in the hamper.|I didn't see it. [6127][6152]Yeah. It got in the wash with my cords.|They bleed a little bit. [6153][6182]No, I'll buy you another one. [6183][6215]No, no. Now, these things|cost a pretty penny,|and I insist on buying you anot...
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