Change Over Change Over By Ron Goulart HE TRIPPED OVER a bale of hay and fell, skidding on the polished floor of the darkened throne room. Robert Carnivan pushed himself up to a sitting position and called, "King Umberto." He then clutched his flashlight up and walked, rubbing at his knee, to the light switch panel. The throne had been knocked over on one side and a little gold raven was broken off. "Come on. King Umberto," said Carnivan. "I've got the speech for us to go over." He flicked toggles and the six dangling chandeliers burst on. The big window overlooking the courtyard had been smashed out of its frame and a night wind was fluttering the gold leaf draperies gently. Stretched out Just under the ruined window, sprinkled with the flecks of colored glass that were also on the floor, was the unconscious captain of the palace guards. "Hey," shouted Carnivan, "are you fooling around again. King Umberto? Or have you been assassinated? Come on now, answer." "He's out on the bridle path in Zombada Park," said the deep old voice of Dr. Damasco. "Why?" "Because he's a horse." Carnivan didn't see the king's physician anywhere in the great polished room. "Where are you, by the way, Dr. Damasco?" "The grand piano." "I don't see you by the piano." "I am the piano," explained the doctor. Carnivan took a folded sheaf of white paper out of his inside surcoat pocket and walked cautiously to the heavy, black piano. "Look, doctor, King Umberto promised me, and I in turn promised everybody in the home office on Bamum, that he was cured," said Carnivan. "Our various diplomatic officers aren't, too happy about King Umberto even when he's not an addict. I don't have to tell you what a mess the Barnum Embassy here on Tartaruga was when I arrived three months ago. Even now I've only got one clerk and pretty Corinna Candlebart, my girl friday of a secretary. Barnum really wants to help King Umberto stay on the throne and they'd like to see him halt the mounting revolutionary movement. But he's going to have to stop breaking his promises. How come you're a grand piano?" file:///G|/Program%20Files/eMule/Incoming/Ron%20Goulart%20-%20Change%20Over.html (1 of 12) [10/16/2004 3:32:14 PM] Change Over "The king is a very persuasive man," said Dr. Damasco. His voice seemed to come from some place in among the piano wires. "He also gets angry with those who don't go along with him and his decisions." "Whims is more what King Umberto has," said Carnivan. He held the typed speech up to the piano. "King Umberto is scheduled to address the Opera Guild in less than two hours. This is the address right here. You know, I was sent out to this planet because I'm one of the top rated men in the Propaganda Corps, doctor." "My eyes seem to be down around the soft pedal if you want me to read something." "No, I don't want you to read anything," said Carnivan. He was whapping his open palm with the speech. "I want King Umberto to read it. Then I want him to practice delivering it. I want him to steel himself against any possible criticism. That incident during his speech on Jockey Day I'm still trying to downplay. He's got to learn he can't shoot hecklers." "At least not in the open like that," agreed the doctor. "The obligations of kingship, Mr. Robert, they are monumental. They weigh on his poor shoulders like great quantities of impregnable stone." "Yes, I know, I wrote that impregnable stone speech for him," said Carnivan. He looked at the piano stool, gave it a tentative spin. "Are you the stool, too?" "No, only the piano." Carnivan sat on the stool. "Dr. Damasco, I must make it clear to you that on the planet Bamum, from whence all the planets in our system are more or less ruled, on Barnum there is great concern over King Umberto. Now as I explained to you and King Umberto shortly after I arrived, Bamum doesn't insist every government it supports be a democracy. Nor even a benevolent despotism. But they do get upset by a king who goes around publicly shooting people and is, on top of that, a short-tempered loudmouth. And, on top of that, is apparently addicted to some strange and illegal drug." "It's not exactly a drug." "Whatever it is. He's got you taking it, too, now?" "Yes," replied the doctor. "As the king puts it, Mr. Robert, he hates to change all by himself." "Can't you change back to yourself now and help me find him?" The piano said, "It is not quite so simple. The herb-based drug, Meta, is still little understood. Much of the research done on Meta was carried out on your home planet by a Dr. Davis-Stockbridge, who was, I file:///G|/Program%20Files/eMule/Incoming/Ron%20Goulart%20-%20Change%20Over.html (2 of 12) [10/16/2004 3:32:14 PM] Change Over believe, also instrumental in the creation of your Chameleon Corps." "I know, I know," cut in Carnivan. "And the herb grows wild all over the jungles of Zombada Territory here. And good King Umberto has been hooked on the damn stuff for Rve years." "Four years," corrected the doctor. "The fast year he could take it or leave it." "Four or five, the point is he's addicted to a drug that causes him to change shape. He's turned into refrigerators, polar bears, apple trees, lawn furniture, baboons, and what have you. On a couple of occasions he did his changing while photographers were around. Now he's changed into a horse. Why a horse anyway?" "I asked the same question when I noticed the bale of hay." "This grows tougher and tougher to keep quiet," said Carnivan. "Maybe out here King Umberto can shoot his bitterest critics, but Barnum is a democracy. We have to listen to critics. A lot of the criticism lately has been directed at our continued support of King Umberto and his regime. Why is it you can't turn back into yourself?" "I've been endeavoring to explain," answered the piano. "You see, Mr. Robert, a period of time is required for one to become a complete Meta addict, to become what the lower depths call a shiftie. Then one can change back and forth in a matter of moments. I am not such a one, not an expert shiftie, having only used Meta on the half-dozen occasions when the king threatened to shoot me did I not join him. For me, therefore, there is a waiting period, several hours unfortunately, before I will be myself again." "King Umberto, if I find him, I can get him to shift back to his own shape right away?" "Theoretically that is so," said the doctor. "He is, however, in a particularly nasty mood, Mr. Robert. He knocked out six of the palace guards before he came roaring into my suite." "He's not helping the security situation around here any either," said Carnivan. "Knocking out all his guards. He's likely to get assassinated and that's going to be even harder to keep quiet." "I do believe you can perhaps reason with the king, Mr. Robert. He seems to be fonder of you than of any of the former Bamum Embassy staff members." "I'm the only one he hasn't taken a shot at," admitted Carnivan. He put the speech back away in his gray surcoat. "What kind of horse is he?" "A roan stallion." file:///G|/Program%20Files/eMule/Incoming/Ron%20Goulart%20-%20Change%20Over.html (3 of 12) [10/16/2004 3:32:14 PM] Change Over "What color is that?" "Chestnut interspersed with gray," said the old doctor. "He's wearing horseshoes, so you may be able to trail him." "Okay," said Carnivan. "If he comes back here send him to the Opera Guild. This propaganda opera we're going to put on next week is vitally important. He must be very nice to these opera patrons. Tell him." "Of course, Mr. Robert." Carnivan ran from the palace and headed for his embassy building. The night was calm and clear. Lovely Corinna Candlebart turned off her desk phone and inclined her head so that Carnivan's kiss hit her on the cheekbone. "I know," she said. "Know how fond I am of you?" Carnivan backed away from her cream-colored metal desk and began loping nervously around the room. "I meant I know King Umberto is making changes again," said the pretty blonde girl. "We just got a report from a Political Espionage field agent." Carnivan continued doing a little trot around the big office, hopping from one oval native mat to another. "You shouldn't be working so late, Corinna. I really appreciate you and enjoy your presence but I don't want you coming down with mono or Goldstone's twitch or something." He stopped still. "A PEO man has spotted the king? Where?" "He's on a rampage down in the ghetto." "Which ghetto?" Corinna touched a memo pad with one slender hand. "Ghetto #13. He's been galloping around in front of the Chez Null club." "Damn, that anti-establishment hangout," said Carnivan. "Wait. How come they know it's the king if he's a horse at the moment?" "Apparently he's still wearing his crown." file:///G|/Program%20Files/eMule/Incoming/Ron%20Goulart%20-%20Change%20Over.html (4 of 12) [10/16/2004 3:32:14 PM] Change Over "Let's see," said Carnivan, checking the bank of wall clocks. "I've still got over an hour before he's due to speak at the Opera Guild meet. Wish me luck." The striking blonde touched warm fingers to his wrist. "You, too, should take care. Bob. All this running around you do." She kissed her fingertips and pressed them to his ear. "I'd hate to see you fall ill." "I know, Corrie," he said. "But it's my job. I have a hope we can get the government here in Zombada Territory propped up and resembling some kind of democracy." "I admire your idealism. Bob." He kissed her on the jaw and left the hollow, un...
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